So I am on the beach in Mykonos, Greece visiting my great friend Spyro and his family. Everyday we walked down to a very pretty beach away from the tourist mobs and lounged about while food and drink in wondrous portions were brought for our consumption. Between the beautiful blue Aegean and me was 100 feet of bikinis of all types and sizes and styles providing me with much mental fodder. Why, for instance, does a young woman in a thong bathing suit, three of which would fit into a thimble, pull at the material when she stands up to strut around the beach? It can’t be modesty. She left her modesty in the nano-clothing store when she bought her suit. And yet standing, getting out of the water, rolling over adjustments are made. How much modesty can you have when you are wearing buttons and thread for a bathing suit?


And since we are on this subject, there are some people who should wear more not less.  This mostly applies to men my age (too old) in little Speedos. Trust me, no one wants to see your little speedo. Your little speedo, aint so speedy now and you probably haven’t caught a glimpse of it in years due to the bulging belly above it. So here is the way I see it: If you can’t see your speedo, nobody else wants to either. Put it away where it belongs… somewhere far, far away from me and my fodder.